Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
