hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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