it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
