Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
