In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
