No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize