go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
