the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
