Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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