He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize