It's Friday. Sex?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
me + whiskey = a bad person
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Randomize
