i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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