Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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