He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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