i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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