So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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