i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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