i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
