Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
love makes seman taste better
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
