I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
