the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
not ubering you a puppy
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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