But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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