we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
