I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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