so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
