dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
