guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
where are you?
Hypothermia
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
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