Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
