You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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