what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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