My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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