With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I feel like a drive thru vagina
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