Pants 0. Shit 1.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
