which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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