Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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