K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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