Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
even my farts smell like vagina
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
