I wish I could teleport
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
