Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize