Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize