I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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