hell yes lets make some ravioli
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize