Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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