Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
