can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
