What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
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