how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
so much tequila, so little girl.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
