Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
