a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
