The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize