My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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