We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
too bad you live with your parents still
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
