literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
