Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
ugly people sure do ruin things
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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