i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
