Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
