yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
