im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
