next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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