She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
