you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
he laminated a picture of his dick.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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