Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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