you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
