can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
