so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize