Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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