Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
